Me, Myself and I

Monday, January 31, 2011

Faces of Me

Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
-Mother Teresa

An eye can threaten like a loaded and levelled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy.... One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye; it transcends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Ecstatic Part2

I don't think I did my last post justice.
NOTHING has ever been this.. fulfilling in my entire life.
A dream has actually COME TRUE.
My whole life I have spent being stressed, overwhelmed and OCD about my grades.
And it has paid off!
The funniest part is.. I never believed that it actually WOULD pay off.
If I could only describe my feelings of enthusiasm. of complete JOY.
Gratitude is surrounding my entire being because god cares about me.
He knew EXACTLY what I needed, what I wanted and here it is.
I'm crying from .. complete happiness. No words can even come close to how I feel.
I am accepted to Southern Virgina University.
Yeah, you heard that right. ME. KELSEY ANNE.
It's 1:00 in the morning and I'm grinning from the inside out.
My cheeks hurt.
Because I am amazing and can do anything I put my mind to, with god's help.


A couple years back, I started having a dream. A dream that I would attend a college/university that was perfect for me and.. was not BYU. I heard of this college in Virgina entitled, Southern Virgina University. and now,this dream has become reality because...
I have been accepted to

I am ecstatic. thrilled. pumped. blessed. cheerful. gay. gleeful. merry. pleased. sparkling. peaceful. jolly. laughing. lively. chirpy. perky. jubilant. joyous. overjoyed. on cloud nine. captivated. delighted. walking on air. tickled. upbeat. sunny. bright. elated. gratified. perfect.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Mmm I'm loving it.

So I think it could be very difficult to watch a sporting event that doesn't make any sense. And yet, TONS of people do it. Recently I have been involving myself with a sport that I truly, deeply enjoy. BASKETBALL. I think playing it is great.. BUT I think it is almost 1000x more entertaining to cheer on a team or keep score. Sounds crazy I know but I think playing basketball on a team was only the first step for me. I can now appreciate all the hard work and dedication that players have to go through to perform at their maximum each game. Also I love being responsible for the basketball teams at my school. It's a caring role that I pride myself in fulfilling nicely. Maybe someday I could manage a team professionally or something to that effect because it really brings me to life. Tonight, Kendra and I went to watch some city league games and stayed for THREE HOURS just to continue watching the boys play. Together we had so much fun cheering and since she understands what is happening it is super fun. My favorite thing that boys do = wear shooting warmers. Funniest invention of mankind and I love it. The sweat, the cheers, the fouls and even the stupid ref's can make basketball come to life in a way that nothing else becomes so real to me. Mmmmm I love it.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Today is the Day

Here they are.
The moment you have all been waiting for...
My New Year's Resolutions!!!
#1 Be honest - Telling my feelings or at least acknowledging them, standing up for what I believe in and telling the truth
#2 Attend the temple at least once a month. -Probably Thursday mornings.. 5:30am
#3 Read more books - Knowledge is power
#4 Trust in God - This includes taking each day one at at time.

Here are some .. sayings and quotes that have been inspiring me lately... my Top10
  1. "We don’t have to be perfect today. We don’t have to be better than someone else. All we have to do is to be the very best we can." -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
  2. The fruit of silence is prayer
    the fruit of prayer is faith
    the fruit of faith is love
    the fruit of love is service
    the fruit of service is peace. -Mother Teresa
  3. "For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." -Audrey Hepburn
  4. "Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland
  5. If who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, who am I?
  6. Today I will experience JOY
  7. "Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties." -Helen Keller
  8. "None of us are secure except we keep the commandments of our Heavenly Father. The pathway of righteousness is the highway of happiness. There is no other way to happiness." -George Albert Smith
  9. "My Savior loves, My Savior lives
    My Savior's always there for me
    My God: He was, my God; He is
    My God is always gonna be" -Aaron Shust "My Savior My God"
  10. God loves me not because of what I do, but because of who I am.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Christ is Peace

I am doing much, much better. This is the reason. JESUS CHRIST. I've been so down on myself and feeling very lost, sad and bitter. I started praying much more regularly and reading my scriptures, patriarchal blessing and reading this great book entitled, "The Peacegiver." Think about driving a car and doing a u-turn. THAT'S HOW I FEEL. The sun shines on me when there is no sun, the birds are singing even though they have all gone south. I am at PEACE. My only concern is having it last, having it continue without stopping. But I know that if I continue with my daily routine, I can have that daily peace. JOY. Oh I am soooo happy. Nothing has outwardly changed. I am still friendless, goalless, lonely and pathetic. But at least this time, God is on my side.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

My Year.

(idea given by the beautiful Chrystalyn Finch)
My Goals for the 2010 year were as follows:
#1 Strengthen my personal relationship with my Savior by drawing closer to him. (Through activities such as: Reading my Scriptures, Bearing my Testimony and Service to Others.)
#2 Finish my Personal Progress before my 18th birthday! (CONQUERED!!)
#3 Re-read the entire Book of Mormon.
Some other things going on were: Basketball(Team Captain so there was a ton of stress on me..all the time.). January is foggy for me because I think I just wanted it to pass as quickly as it could because it wasn't .. the funnest. BUT I do remember a Stake Conf. when Elder L. Tom Perry came and I got to shake his hand!
Another thing was poetry. Miss Meyerson was in the poetry mood and I wrote so many poems that my hand hurt. Also I memorized the "O Captain, My Captain" poem and broke my thumb. Went to the Oquirrh Temple with Obnette Woodward and Mitch Travino.. those were good times.
Hmmm.. Not my brightest month by far. I sang the song "God Help the Outcast" for a vocal recital that I was in. Also I got proposed to by a Korean foreign exchange student. My favorite Jee. There was the basketball tournament. I don't think I had ever cried so much about basketball in my life then I did on that day. My cousin Jennings came and lived with my family for a little while. I remember.. being/feeling alone. A lot.
Kendra had her Poetry Out Loud competition in SLC that remember. I spent a lot of time with Obnette. Some with Levi. Some with Kaya. Obnette got asked to prom by her friend Mitch Tranvino and she bought the prettiest dress and had the grandest time. Also I went to the Festival of Colors with Ale, Kay, Katy, Sam and Brooke.
AHHHHH. Lots of issues with Levi. Those were the times that I never wanted to think of again.
But what I do want to say is this: In the moment, I was just doing my best. My issues and personal problems would just blow up into a supersize problem that felt so real and hurtful. I just wanted to be friends but I was to attached, to up close and couldn't see how ridiculous I was until it would be to late.
but enough about that.
I was asked to Prom by Preston Parker, that was eventful and crazy as well. He asked over the loud speaker of school. I found the perfect red dress that was/is beautiful. The only problem was the Obnette hadn't been asked yet so Levi convinced Eugen to ask Obnette!!

Junior Prom. I was crowned Prom Princess and had a fantastic night with Preston. He was so much fun and we just laughed and talked the whole night.
<-- Friends.

Best Friends
How crazy it is that time seems to slowly pass by in the moment but whenever we look behind us, we are miles ahead of where we were. In all my journal entries of May, I repeat over and over... "I just don't care anymore." I decided to move to Fallon, Nevada to be with my Grandparents. I wanted to get away SOO badly. I was drained, nothing of substance was even left of me.
But I spent a lot of time with Obnette. We had some great talks and we were almost inseparable. Lately I have been missing Obnette so much more that before. When I am no longer on the re-bound I can see all the positive she was and .. the negative that I was. Oh how my friendships never last.

I left for my Grandparents home straight after school let out. I got a beautiful blessing from my Grandpa and had a great time being with my Grandma. All three of us thought I would be staying there for a long time but God had other plans. Kami offered me a job at the Trafalga fun center where she worked and I headed home in time for Obnette's 18th birthday.
Along with being friends with Obnette, I became a lot better friends with Kaya Hartley. She is one marvelous person. We did a lot of "fun" things and she helped my summer not be such a "bummer."

<--Kaya! (this was when my camera wasn't working so we couldn't even see this picture when I took it ;)
Similar to July, I worked at Trafalga and spent a lot of time with Kaya. Later in August I talked to Obnette and we both realized that our relationship was a little different then we both wanted. Soooooo we parted ways.
In August, right before school started, Ariel Parker (Preston's younger sister) invited me to a "self-improvement" class that CHANGED MY LIFE. I took the course and then was chosen as one of the people to receive a free scholarship to take a 90 day course. The course is entitled OUTLOOK.
Volleyball, School, More Volleyball, More School.
Tried to decide whether or not to do basketball. Got a blessing and decided not to do it this year. What a GREAT thing and HUGE impact that it has made to not do it this year. I love basketball but it wasn't "fun" anymore and I'm a yellow personality and I don't do well without fun. I also went to see "The Magic Flute" with Kay Kay and her Mother dearest. That was a fun day.
Asked Carver to Homecoming, got 3rd place in a Volleyball tournament, Went to Homecoming(got crowned Homecoming Queen.), Thanksgiving day that was filled with.. emotions. DONATED BLOOD! Had a "most embarrassing moment" happen to me. Never thought it would. :) Graduated from my Power 90/Outlook class!

So here I am. This month has been a learning process as you might of noticed from previous posts. I'm in the middle of figuring out who I am.. (once again.. don't judge me.ha)
I am grateful for all that I have.
For my Mother.
My Sisters.
My Daddio
My Savior who loves me and cares about me.
For he is my ultimate best friend.

First Camera Christmas

My first photo taken with my new camera.
Just Sayin'

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Chivalry is Dead

No longer is there knighthoods or romantic beings who sweep down to steal you off your feet. No longer is there manners and etiquette designed to please the ladies. For you see, Chivalry is dead. As depressing or maddening it feels, that mantra will repeat itself. Doors are left for you to close or open on your own as well as retrieving supplies out of kindness. This disappointments me. Saddens me even for if chivalry is not dead, then where are the heirs that pass it on?