Panasonic Love

For Christmas I got this really nice Panasonic DMC-FZ35!! It's really nice but the only problem is... I now have a hard time NOT taking pictures of myself. It's crazy.
The photo above is an experiment of hanging the camera from it's strap to a pole outside of my house. A little obsessive is only a slight explanation. If you love photography...can I get a woot woot?

A Pointless Post.

I don't understand my emotions. One day I will be as peachy as a peach and then the next, as crabby as a crab. One day I will be content with my life and happy with the results. The the night will come and all I can think about is the mistakes and changes I need to make in my life. But one thing that is not well known about me.. I analyze. Everything.
Analyze #1: I don't NEED friends. I like having friends and being with them can help me mucho, but I can live life without them. Because, I would rather be happy by myself then change who I am to fit into some kind of category. Is there such a thing as a healthy relationship?!?! It frustrates me to even think about.
Analyze #2: With God, anything is possible. Even when I am lost, confused, upset or mad... He can help me realize my potential and see the light. I am trying my best. Yet even that feels sooo very lacking. Is it because I am hyper sensitive and aware of all my downfalls or is it ME, am I just SO pathetic that I can't handle my own life!?
Analyze #3: I think some changes are coming into my life. I am feeling the calm before the storm. This scares me and makes me want to cry because I feel like I'm not going to be friends with a certain individual anymore. ;lkajsdflkjasdlkfjalskdfjakls;dfkasdfa;. Why am I who I am? Why me? For what reason on EARTH did God send certain people into my life?
Analyze #4: Even after everything and everyone, I wouldn't want to change who I was. If anyone is supposed to live a pathetic life, it's me. ha.

Holiday Fever.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	High
Dysthymia:	Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Slight-Moderate
Cyclothymia:	High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Extremely High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Here is the Depression Test

Inside Us.

I feel my best when I'm happy.

-Winona Ryder-

Loving Christmas.

Throughout all the world, Christmas has been a season of giving. Of loving others and service. This year has been hard in some ways but very rewarding worth it. It's like a rollar-coaster ride. You are super scared to get on and throughout the entire ride there are ups and downs that are completely terrifying. But once you get off, you look back and realize that it wasn't that bad. That the entire scary experience was worth it in the end. When life gives you lemons... you are grateful. I want Christmas this year to be about Christ, gratitude and loving others. What is your season going to be about?

I found this joke online. I thought it was really funny for some reason :)

"Myra was going to a Christmas party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, 'May I try on that dress in the window, please?'
'Certainly not, madam', responded the salesgirl, 'You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.'"

Oh the season to be jolly. I've been thinking a lot about Christmas and what it means to me. In only 12 days it will be Christmas and I haven't shopped or done anything for anyone. How pathetic...I know. For me, Christmas is about Christ. This morning I went to the temple (woke up super early..but it was worth it.) to think about my life more indepth. My plans for life have been shifting, changing with and without my consent. But as of this morning: Go to college (fingers crossed to get into SVU) and then go on a LDS mission! The other night I had a friend ask about the gospel and it made me reflect on how much I truly know. When I am a mom and raising my children in the church, I'm going to want to know the answers to their questions. Soooo that's what I have been up to or at least thinking about lately. Tis the season to pray, think of Christ and serve. Who's with me?!

Lugahter.

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad"

71% of the people I talk to the most = Teachers.

Teachers. Where on earth do they even come from? Are they even human?! I can answer those questions for you. They come from heaven and YES they ARE human! (weird I know!)
If I gave advice and I rarely do for people don't ever want advice, they just want to be listened to. BUT the biggest difference between an A- student and an A+ student is....... (drum roll please!)
BROWN NOSING. Even 'sucking up.' However you want to say it, it will still remain the same. I listen and talk to my teachers. I ask them how their days are going, what their spouse is up to, what's been giving them gray hairs, etc etc. All anyone wants in this world is to be listened to and appreciated. (and love and blah blah.) BUT if you want to get great grades this semester.. can I suggest a little tip. GET TO KNOW YOUR TEACHER. Not just for a day but for month, term, semester and even a year. Teachers give you the grades and you give them the attention. :)
"The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery." ~Mark Van Doren

Still more astonishing is that world of rigorous fantasy we call mathematics.

Who invented math? Cause whoever did.. shouldn't of. I've definitely had better days. But it's pretty official that I am an emotional roller-coaster with up's higher than Mt. Everest and downs that seem lower than..well..way down. I feel like Atlas. Here I am, standing alone with the world on my shoulders. Kendra suggested that I just "shrug." ha. ha. ha.
Ahhhh. I have nothing to say.

In the Morning.